Everybody Who Gambles is a Loser: Part IV

Howdy Howdy Howdy…

Here we are yet again…different plot, the same ending I can say with staunchness.

The Hound has been on a remarkable heater. I have to give credit where credit is due. It pains me to do so. He’s firing on all cylinders. But as Brett Favre said when he retired the first time, “all good things must come to an end”. And as the man above told us: everybody who gambles is a loser.

Welp, even a blind squirrel finds a nut as is the case with The Hound. So, with newly infused excitement to blog and tweet his triumphs, The Hound traveled down to BK, using, the most reliable railroad, Metro-North. To celebrate our month of blogging and gambling glory The Hound decided to “play lotto” as my favorite rapper Cam’ron used to say.

I get a few texts including one that states “too many bets to digest” and immediately think to my grandfather. I think to The Hound’s checkered betting past and I pay it no mind. I tuned into some NBA on TNT, eat my vegetables and rice. Now…what followed is what made me wish The Hound really played the lotto (or bet like a fuckin man and not a penny stock dealer).

Feb 13th #2.png — An otherworldly 17-2 record posted on February 13th.

Heading into Valentine’s Day The Hound had his single best day/night ever. He entered this special day of love and bliss with an extra $510 in his pocket after going 17-2. What could he do after THE BIG DAY? Potential backpage afternoon delight possibly? Maybe a buffet lunch at a local gentlemen’s club?

Nah, not The Hound’s style ~~yet~~.

Excluding teasers and parlays, The Hound finished the night at 9-2; still an impressive feat.

He hit the books and went to reserchin’ what he could lay down to keep the heater rollin (#1 on the list of how to lose when you gamble). On this day, again, he didn’t disappoint, initially. Another $50-$60 in his pocket. He took some small risks on big parlays and teasers. He played it safe (#2 on the list of how to lose when you gamble). Here’s where a true gambling mind like my own knew my cousin wasn’t expecting similar results. At about 10:18pm, after I finished my last glass of Veuve, I started to receive a slew of texts: “like I just did a few parlays for cheap to win big money and then teased same games and picked em straight up to cover parlay losses if I only hit a few”. As I typed that out I was bolding keywords to show vocabulary of a gambler who knows he’s a loser. Then, I realized the whole sentence speaks for itself. I think to myself yet again: Everybody That Gambles is a Loser. He then started talking himself into stopping himself before he ended the week down $14 (which our shit-kid bookie would def send a Venmo request for). “If I stay over $500, I’m not touching anything else”. Man oh man, like the Falcon’s in the 2nd half of the Super Bowl LI, he can see/feel that losing is inevitable. I suggested he does some heavy research today and put in a monster parlay to try and go all out (any true plunger knows this thing we do is all high-risk high reward, not $15 risk $27 reward). The smugness in his response almost knocked me out of bed. “I have a system right now, I’m 26-3 in the last two nights”. Definitely not the Patriot way palie.

The smugness (that I death stared out of him Super Sunday after his stupid anthem bet) in The Hound is apparent and back. After winning a fraction of his first nights winning on night two, the chase is on.